Trouble in Paradise

So this is an entry that is probably more personal than many I have posted thus far. This is something that happened to me last week. I was watching an episode with a summer staff member last week when this individual semi-accidentally disclosed to me that they were planning on drinking that night in their cabin, and that this was not the first time that they were going to drink on property, something explicitly against protocol regardless of age during the summer.

I knew that this was something that I could not stand idly by. I also knew that I was not going to report due to policy and the fact that my job could have been on the line, but more so to do with the fact that the students with which we work come from backgrounds that are less than ideal, perhaps often to do with drugs and alcohol. How can we create a safe space for them to grow and learn if these activities are going on in the very same space.

I of course went and spoke with my supervisor immediately. The next day we all got together, the staff living on property for the summer and had a conversation. All the summer staff were very upset to say the least, save for one or two. Additionally, it seemed one of the summer staff at one point had spoken up to the group but had been ignored and I felt as if they were going to start blaming this individual for “narking”. Finally I spoke up and told the group that it was me who said something.

They were not exactly happy with me. One individual actually spoke up and said that they didn’t know if they would be able to trust me. And then an additional person spoke up to say the same thing. This was probably the single most hurtful thing that has ever happened to me that has been an blow that happened verbally.

I take trust very seriously and believe that I have never given anyone a reason to doubt me, to not trust me, certainly not anyone from this group. I don’t believe I betrayed anyone’s trust, so this blow hurt me greatly.

Since then, it has been rather awkward with the summer staff. Most of them no longer like me, which is difficult to work with, but it has improved in the past few days, especially since we had a program the last few days last week, which was amazing and the subject of another post.

Thanks for listening! Talk with you all soon!

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